Bipolar Bob’s BLOGs

May 17, 2007

I’m back, is anyone listining?

Filed under: Bipolar, med change, Paranoia — Bipolar Bob @ 3:11 am

I stopped writing cause I’ve been playing lots of poker.  Just on-line, play money (thinking about going to the casino on Friday for the nooner tourny) but lots of tournys and ring games in between.  Still playing a lot, but I’m mixing up my hobbies now. 

Surfing the net to new places lately, computer problems still nag (I need a fresh OS), painting in watercolors more often, shopping for my first digital camera, taking a photography class, to name a few. 

 I just seem to have big projects jumping at me.  And then the paranoia kicked in a couple of weeks ago.  I upped my Risperdal and added Trazodone because I wasn’t sleeping enough ( and now I”m up typing this at 3AM [I guess I’m still not out of the woods yet]).  I stopped the Trazodone about a week later and now Risperdal has gone up another 1/2 mg to a total of 2.5 mg per day.  Depakote still at 1500mg daily. 


February 21, 2007

I saw Barack Obama yesterday

Filed under: Paranoia, Uncategorized, Work — Bipolar Bob @ 10:27 pm

Barack had a rally in Los Angeles Tuesday. He said all the stuff that I expected him to say. The one surprise was he promised universal health care, with emphasis on prevention, in his first four years. There was a good crowd, I would have guessed 10,000 but I heard estimates on the news that it was only 3,000 people. I had to leave the mosh pit mid speech because my feet were hurting so bad from standing for 3 hours. Also I was a bit paranoid in the crowd, thinking that there were secret service watching me because I had a backpack. There were many cops around directing traffic, but I didn’t see any security once I was inside. This lead me to believe that they were hiding in plain site, and that anyone around me was security. I tried not to let it bother me, it was just that they were crowding me, actually touching me, as they had pushed their way up to where I was standing. All I had in in my bag were my ‘No more war$’ Camo Peace T-shirts, but no one ever asked to see what I had. I wanted to sell a few, but I didn’t have the guts to show them to anyone. I saw a good spot to sell them as the people were walking out, but I was too tired, and still worried about all the police. I don’t know how I am going to unload these shirts if I don’t ever even TRY to sell one.

I got a check in the mail from my old boss. She wrote a short note, in which she said that she only paid half of what I asked for the trip to the car dealer. No appology, no I want you back. Fine with me. I just cashed the check and she is now dust in my rear view mirror.

February 20, 2007

Still trippin

Filed under: Bipolar, Diary, Friends, Paranoia, Work — Bipolar Bob @ 12:00 am

I’m feeling like I am in control of things again.  It’s the grandiose thing where I believe that my thoughts and minor actions are having drastic results.  And I haven’t even read “The Secret.”   I really dug “What the Bleep Do We Know” but it all seems like stuff that I’ve heard before.   When I start feeling it like I am now, I either think I’m nuts, or Truman Burbank. 

So since I quit my job there has been two hang-ups on my answering machine.  No caller ID but I know it’s my old boss calling.  I really don’t feel like talking to her at all.  I just tired of solving her every problem.  Granted, I have not been at all productive….. no that’s BS.   I have spent a lot of hours playing poker this weekend, but I tried to get my eye’s checked, got a depakote level blood draw, and got my car serviced.  I’m getting a lot of stuff done.  It use to be I would regret getting home and seeing a message on my answering machine cause it was always her, and she always needed something right away.  I have to take some of the credit for that …. no one want’s to call me.  I have very few friends and I have lost a good one this whole mess.  I felt unappreciated, and then insulted, I had to draw the line and make the cut. 

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