Bipolar Bob’s BLOGs

March 16, 2007

Poker Tournament #2

Filed under: Dawn, Poker — Bipolar Bob @ 8:03 pm

I found a $10 home game that runs a couple of games a day. I think they play everyday, but they didn’t seem to want to let on to it in front of me or something. The host’s inflection when talking about what to do on St. Patrick’s day sounded strange to me. It was just the way he said, maybe I’ll get a game together, sounded funny. I know I’m the sucker in the room, and I didn’t let them bully me too much, but I really hate it when people talk in blatant code in front of me.

Each pot I would limp in on, one of them would put in a big raise. I lost a few big blinds like that so I folded many hands I would have liked to see a flop. I wait for a pair and limp then call the 4x raise. Two over cards on the flop, I hesitate with my eyes on the flop and check. He, on my immediate left, bets 6x and I fold quickly. He put me on 5-5 as it was my first pot, and he made a point of announcing it was my first flop. I thought that was a bit rude, but whatever. There was a lot of talk about who had what that last hand, and even some cards folded face up on a showdown. They made it a very friendly game, but they forced me into tight mode and that allowed me to win a big pot from the big blind when I hit the top of the junk that flopped.

Even though we had a non playing dealer, who is in training, I noticed two short pots. I was in seat one so the guy on my left was quick to remind me to post the BB when it came around and I hadn’t posted, then he shorts an ante later. They had announced that he would steal chips from a pot if you give him a chance too, even if it was a quarter, and that’s just what he shorted the pot. I mainly didn’t say anything because I thought it was the dealer’s job, and I was just shocked when she just raked in the bets without counting the chips. A bit later there was a short stack all in and a side pot. That took a minute to get all counted out. Another problem is the payout. Top three get paid ( 7 , 14 , and 59 I think ) that is a little bit heavy on first place. I think 2 nd place usually gets half of first and 3 rd gets half of 2 nd. Whatever the payout scheme, I had asked after the first KO if it was winner take all and they told me top three and gave me the break down. I instantly had objection the the breakdown, but didn’t mention it. So that means third place you lose only $3. I think that third should break even, but at $10 a game, I’ll give them ten games before I complain about that. With such a split between 2 nd and first I was amazed at how quickly it went, when they started very close in chip count, when heads up started. The host was the winner, and was table captain most of the game.

Anyway, I came in 4 th so the payout didn’t make any practical difference to me. Man …. money on the line and I don’t speak up. What will it take for me to stand up for my rights. I still haven’t called Dawn to let her know what all went behind my quiting that job. Anyway, I won a few pots, I think I did well folding when bet into after the flop. The guy on my immediate left was really pushy when we were in pots together, but he did that to everyone.

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March 11, 2007

Should I call?

Filed under: Dawn, Friends, Work — Bipolar Bob @ 11:11 pm

So the thought finally poped into my head yesterday that maybe it’s time that I call my friend Dawn and see how she is getting along since I quit working for her. I will certainly make it clear that I won’t be working for her again, but I would like to remain friends. I am worried that she will soon be asking for favors again if I make the call, but I do want to tell her that I hope that she is alright.

March 1, 2007

Open House

Filed under: Bipolar, Friends — Bipolar Bob @ 6:05 pm

 

The Edmund Edelman Community Mental Health Center in West LA had a 10th anniversary open house. I have been seeing a Pdoc there for about 3 years. I just joined the art therapy group this Monday ( I went once last year, and didn’t want to add it to my schedule back then) and they asked if I had any artwork I wanted in the art show at the open house. I picked the perfect Monday to go back because I have some watercolors from years ago that I am very proud of. I don’t think that I would have won best of show, (as if it was a contest) but I’m sure that I was easily a close #2. Now that I think about it, there were a couple of other pieces that were of a high quality too. My problem is I’m too much of a realist, in my artistic renditions. I do watercolors, but I will work and re-work one little section of a piece for hours till it at least resembles the photo that I am working from. I need to loosen up with my work, it sure looks like it will paint faster. Part of me just doesn’t want to burn through that much paper, even though I have a bunch of good blank paper from when I painted years ago.  It’s just not cheap stuff. (sorry i wondered a bit there, back to the open house)

 

I got there too late to see the client theater group’s performance, but I heard good things about it. They had food and drinks, and a bunch of deserts. They had some music by clients too. I heard the namesake of the center Ed Edelman, former Los Angeles County Supervisor, speak about his thoughts when creating this center, and how his hopes have been exceeded. He also was given a collage done by the art therapy group. There were three collages given out and they all looked great.

 

Guest speaker Elyn Saks gave a great introduction and talk about her up coming book “The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness”. She is an associate dean and professor of law at USC and has had a hard fight with schizophrenia most of her life. I was very impressed by her talk but a good friend of mine, Ned, was very disappointed. He had heard her talk before about chronic depression, but I guess that she just came out as a schizophrenic recently. Since Ned has unipolar depression, he really wanted to hear more of her story, and right out of the box she says that she is schizophrenic. I bet he wanted to stand up and leave right then. Her story had similarity to mine, although her condition sounded much more harsh than my own, so I was very interested. The bottom line of her talk was, talk therapy got her through life, up to 4 and 5 times a week at times. She knows the myriad of pills do much of the work, but there is no substitute for support that you can get from quality individual therapy. She also read a few excerpts from her book. Some of the delusions she talked about sounded familiar, and some she just lost me. She took questions from the group assembled, but after 3 or 4 I got up and walked out as I was dying for a cigarette. I was tired, so I beat the rush to the elevator, and headed for home.

 I was stressed a bit shortly after I got there.  Once I had done the circuit around the artwork twice  I headed up stairs by the food.  I haden’t seen Ned and I assumed  he had come and gone.  As I felt like I and seen everything I was ready to leave.  He said he wanted to talk to me, but I was outta there.  I had pushed the button for the ultra slow elevators, and a minute later I spot Ned looking at the artwork at the other end of the hall.  That saved me.  He had been in the auditorium watching the theater group.  I am so glad I spoted him when I did.  

February 20, 2007

Still trippin

Filed under: Bipolar, Diary, Friends, Paranoia, Work — Bipolar Bob @ 12:00 am

I’m feeling like I am in control of things again.  It’s the grandiose thing where I believe that my thoughts and minor actions are having drastic results.  And I haven’t even read “The Secret.”   I really dug “What the Bleep Do We Know” but it all seems like stuff that I’ve heard before.   When I start feeling it like I am now, I either think I’m nuts, or Truman Burbank. 

So since I quit my job there has been two hang-ups on my answering machine.  No caller ID but I know it’s my old boss calling.  I really don’t feel like talking to her at all.  I just tired of solving her every problem.  Granted, I have not been at all productive….. no that’s BS.   I have spent a lot of hours playing poker this weekend, but I tried to get my eye’s checked, got a depakote level blood draw, and got my car serviced.  I’m getting a lot of stuff done.  It use to be I would regret getting home and seeing a message on my answering machine cause it was always her, and she always needed something right away.  I have to take some of the credit for that …. no one want’s to call me.  I have very few friends and I have lost a good one this whole mess.  I felt unappreciated, and then insulted, I had to draw the line and make the cut. 

February 16, 2007

I quit my job.

Filed under: Bipolar, Friends — Bipolar Bob @ 10:49 am

So I gave my boss a bill for services rendered the other day. Granted that there was one line item that was a suprise to her, but I think that my assumption was more fair than her’s regarding it, but I felt offended personally by her reaction. I was so upset (heart pounding, chest heaving) I could not discuss her transgression. The major part of her defense was the manic viewpoints of her ex boyfriend. The one that I defended her from when he was threatning her life. She also questined my integrity as a friend. This after I help her every time she has the slightest difficulty since she locked him out about a year ago. I’m sure that she thinks it’s a manic move on my part, but she is so wrong if that’s what she actually thinks. I do feel the slilghtest bit sorry at times, as we were good friends for over 10 years, but all that I can see right now is all the taking she has done from me in the last year.

I now need a new job. Does anyone out there know a “REAL” way to make money on the internet without committing fraud or anything illegal or scummy like email fishing and spamming?

February 14, 2007

Happy V.D. Everyone

Filed under: Bipolar, Diary, Friends, Rant — Bipolar Bob @ 12:34 pm

Yesterday I went through hell. My friend wanted me to take her to go buy a used car with her. Last time I was her beard for car shopping she gave me 20 bucks. I naturally assumed we were gonna do something similar this time. When we finally sit down with the salesman (and he gives us a moment alone) she says something to the effect that I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart. I get a knot in my stomach right then. Now not only do I have to deal with the a– hole car salesmen, but now I’m doing it for free. Four hours into the deal they jack the price back up $2000 for an extended warranty that they had previously said was included in the purchase price. She gets mad and says let’s walk. I play the part to it’s fullest and start tossing the f-word around. It’s wasn’t much of an act cause I was tired of the whole situation. I walk out and she doesn’t follow. 2 minutes later the salesman comes out to my car to get me to come back in and I tell him to go to hell. 2 minutes after that, here comes his manager. I have the radio blasting Tom Petty’s “ I won’t stand down.” and I just wave him off. He wants me to turn down the radio, and I start screaming again. He gets the point and walks away. CAR SALESMEN ARE SCUM OF THE EARTH! My friend did her share to piss me off too. At least she had the good sense not to say a word on the drive home. When she calls me today and asks for another ride to the dealership to take delivery of the car, she is gonna get an ear full, and I am not going to do it under any circumstances. I’m gonna ask for 50 bucks for what she put me through yesterday, if she declines, or offers less, I’ll take it, but that will be the LAST time I do anything for her.

After I dropped her off I was trembling and shaking for about 2 hours because it all got me so upset. I’m steaming and make up an invoice for her for all the stuff that I have done for her in the last two weeks. If she balks or haggles with me much at all, I’m gonna tell her off big time. And then ask that she looses my phone number as all she does is call to ask for favors. I have had enough!

Well now it’s the morning after and I have cooled down a bit. Writing this has helped slightly, but if I get any back talk, I still want to cut her off.

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