Bipolar Bob’s BLOGs

May 20, 2007

Dreaming

Filed under: Bipolar, Dreams, Family — Bipolar Bob @ 2:51 pm

I have been in a bit of a mixed state lately. Hyperactive and yet still sleepy and at times lethargic. It’s weird but better than being depressed. Here are some disjointed images from a dream I just had while napping:

It started with heated words on my blog, me figuring the subject person would never read what I’d written. Then I find myself stowing away on his yacht, probably because of the woman who was with him. (She seemed to remain in at least the side of the picture, throughout this dream.) I am below in a cabin, and the two of them are right outside the window. I think I have a good place to hide and spy until a couple of friendly cats show put and start in with their routine. She starts to come down below to get a cat and I jump up to meet her half way so that we can talk without him hearing. When she comes around the corner and sees me she quickly draws her gun and my hands go right up. [I don’t like guns, never had. I had a locked and loaded one pointed at me IRL by the cops once and don’t want to repeat that ever again.] We have a brief and quiet what the heck are you doing here conversation. She gives me the nickel plated revolver and instructions to shoot the other guy if there’s a confrontation. I go back to my hiding place and tuck the gun into my shirt. I figure I should be ready so I try to cock the hammer and it makes a noise that he can obviously hear. The hammer won’t lock and makes 3 more loud clicks as it slowly comes back down. The whole time I have my thumb on the hammer I am terrified that I will shoot myself in the arm accidentally.

Now he’s on his way down and the scene shifts to me and her sitting at a table in the galley below decks. He comes storming in and I draw down on him first but fail to shoot. He draws and we are both aiming at each other’s head. [looking down that barrel at his head was so very unnerving and realistic] Frozen and unable to do anything, the standoff continues until someone (now there’s other people around too) says you should read what he’s written about you. She chimes in saying she has some of it with her now. I think she is nuts for giving him access to the blog, and wonder who’s side she is really on now. He is all too anxious to see this and lowers his guard. I know he’s gonna shoot me for what’s been written, but I can’t take preemptive action. She pulls out a greeting card kind of proof sheet. The card takes snip its of my blog and artwork to decorate a holiday card. He doesn’t see the truly offensive parts of the blog and looses interest in me and I become interested more in her and the holiday card. I propose that we become partners in marketing my artwork, and she just chuckles.

Now the boat morphs into a truck, and the guys I’m with are all friends. We are going home from a camping trip or something like that. Ron is driving and we are approaching a USA Space Shuttle on the launching pad. When we are only a few miles away from it the engines start to rumble. Ron, the most interested in the Shuttle, is dying to see, and drives into the weeds on the side of the road while trying to watch out his side window. The guy riding shotgun tries to help steer us back to the road but we come to a grinding halt and straight into a mud wall. The Shuttle never blasts off, at least with the minor car crash , I don’t notice any fireball in the sky. As we all stand around and assess the damage I feel the strong desire to ‘hug it out’ with Ron, and I begin weeping as we do.
– – – – dream over – – – –

I have been a bit emotional like that lately too. Crying at the sappy movies on cable TV and such. I haven’t see Ron in years, and he seemed a bit like a surrogate father in the last moments of the dream. Strange as my relationship with my actual father is very good, and we both can tell the other that we love them.

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